Canine Bulemia

People worry so much about their pets these days that it can get a little ridiculous in my opinion. I cannot imagine a scenario where I would consider acupuncture or psychoanalysis for my dog, yet both of these services exist and seem to be thriving.

I don't refer to myself as the dog's mommy since I did not give birth to her and we are, in fact, completely different species. I don't reason with her or explain why I have told her no. I don't believe in dressing her in clothing and accessories.*

But in spite of my logical approach to dog rearing, I am suddenly worried. I think my dog has an eating disorder. First of all, when I put food in her bowl, she will not eat it until I have walked away. She just stares at me as if to say "Could I have a little privacy here?"

Second, she is doing a lot of vomiting lately. I am sorry for those that find this gross but you should be aware that this activity is voluntary for dogs. They can't digest grass, so they eat it when they want to yack up whatever is in their stomach. My dog as been on a steady diet of St. Augustine with occasional side of ryegrass.

Third, she has gotten quite thin lately. I thought it was because the people who took care of her while I was away walked her a lot, but now I am starting to wonder if there are unhealthy thoughts behind that physique.
I vaguely remember from some after school special that these signs indicate an eating disorder. I am not sure if I should be worried.

Canine eating disorder mantra haiku:
Don't eat while they watch,
Nibbles only past midnight
Chomp grass 'til you yack.

*Except one Halloween but that Yoda costume was too good to pass up. If you don't belive me, please see below.