Mollie's Birthday Poem

And the poem about my other sister, Mollie, just for fun.

Mollie was a youngest child
Which gave her license to go totally wild.
All your clothes and things were shared
And if you objected, she rarely cared.
When she took ownership of your possession
It would sometimes escalate to aggression
You could take your gripe to the parents
But all adults were Mollie adherents.
With her cute face and long blond hair,
Your argument didn't have a prayer.

So you'd let your anger grow colder
And just wait until Mollie got older.

Now that day has finally come!
What an adult Mollie has become
Now I'd loan her anything I'm able to
(Though for safety I put my name in the label, too.)

Happy birthday Molls! You make a good grown up.

Love, your favorite sister
(you know the one.)

Since I Fear Losing Reader(s)

Here is a little poem I did for my sister Jen's bday.  Just to whet your poetic appetite for April.*

A girl named Jen turned 29
When she woke up that morning everything felt fine
But by the end of the day she had an ache and a pain
She thought to herself "Will I ever be young and cute again?"
But her older sister came to her aid
With Alleve and makeup and said "Don't be afraid!
You can keep that young feeling through yoga and laughter."
And so the sisters lived happily ever after.

* Blog moving in April to www.poeticjabberwocky.blogspot.com. I think "followers" will be moved with the blog so there is some incentive to create a log in and become a follower.

Yup, I Lied

I am taking off the entire month of March.  Think of it as my extended spring break.

(Reminder: blog is moving on April 1st.)

Negligent Plogging

Dear team, I am terribly behind on this blog and I know it.  For the first time ever I have egregiously and seriously neglected this blog.  I plan on fixing that quickly.  Thank you, reader, for noticing and checking in real life to see if I was stuck under a large rock.  No, not you, the other reader.

Stay tuned for some updates!!

[Reminder, this blog is moving in April.]

A Natural Choice: Anaphora

Ok, I am not insulting anyone's intelligence by backdating any of these entries.  I am just posting when it is time to post, and doing a current day post every day in March going forward.  And I promise that by the end of March there will be no less than 31 posts for the month.

But just one exception, the first posting of the month, for bureaucratic reasons.

Without further ado, I will announce this month's poetry type: Anaphora!  It's in the posting title if you missed that.  Just sayin.  For the purposes of this blog, anaphora rules are as follows:
- Use a certain word or sound to begin lines of poetry.
- The word or sound must begin in two or more lines.
- The poem can have more than one word or sound, as long as there are at least two consecutive lines using each word/sound.
- If I change these rules later, there is nothing you can do about it because I will also change this page so no one will ever believe your complaints.*

A thanks goes out to Marc L. for suggesting this poetry type.  Today's poem is about him.


Marketplace of ideas, and still
Marking suggestions to my call for poetry types
Markedly repetitive suggestions for those who have not read this blog for long.
Marc does not disappoint with anaphora.

* That was more for informational purposes than an actual rule.

Adios To Limericks!

Ok, honestly I am so finished with limericks.  I think I got a few good ones in there but it is extremely difficult to write a good one, in the correct meter with rhymes that makes sense and is moderately funny.  So I need something easy for next month, which I still have not decided on yet.  Please, submit ideas and don't make me do all of the research work.  Click the "submit ideas" above, not to actually submit ideas but to see the criteria and then click comment to submit ideas.  That made no sense, DO YOU NOT SEE HOW FRIED MY BRAIN IS?

On another note, I am thinking about putting a small box with links to Poetic Jabberwocky's best posts ever conceived, delivered, and then slapped on the back until they cried.  I'm thinking maybe one per month-ish so please vote for any post or posts you think should be included in this list.  If you suggest links from another blog then, well, message received.

For those of you few readers who do have an entry you like (particularly those who have been reading since the background color was baby's poop brown - ah the memories!) please suggest it.  I'll be in charge of polling the mice but no freakin way I'm asking that possum.  He seems like more of a nudie magazine reader anyway.

Since I'm doing a lot of housekeeping in this post, I wanted to let you know in advance that beginning on April 1st this blog will be moving to it's rightful place at www.poeticjabberwocky.blogspot.com and that is no April Fools joke.  This is because the new address properly reflects the name of the blog but the current address is poetryjabberwocky it is a subtle difference but I want to get this changed locked in before they start referencing my cutting edge political commentary on Fox News.  I think we can all (mostly) agree that those viewers will NOT be able to understand the difference.  I will be sure to remind you googlplex* times between now and then but I just wanted to get it out there.

[Reminder: blog address changing in April.  One reminder down! Sound of pencil crossing something off To Do list.]

A girl who wrote a daily limerick
Whose rhymes and syllables didn't quite fit
It's not as though she made money
If they were extra humorous
At month's end she thought, "Thank God that's it."

* Did you know googolplex is NOT where google headquarters is (that is Googleplex) but instead it is a ginormous number written either of these ways:

If that number was not first introduced in a competitive nerd discussion then my hair ain't sparkling auburn-y brown.  Ex: "Cylon Model Number Eight was a trillion times hotter than Number Six."  "No way, Number Six was a googolplex times hotter!"**

** Also, Nerd number two was totally right.  Number Six was a real vixen.

Shake, Rattle and Roll

There was another earthquake again today in Chile.  Is there such a think as earthquake season?  Sometimes I wonder what ancient peoples would have thought about this stuff.  It's not as if caveman knowledge was advanced enough to understand the idea of tectonic plates.  But now anyone who has CNN, MSNBC, ESPN, NBC, ABC, or the Discovery Channel basically understands tectonics.  It is the study of when huge pieces of earth act like those last few ice cubes in the glass: they look like they aren't possibly budging but then some imperceptible shift happens as you tilt the glass and they suddenly spill out over your nose.

But I imagine there was a good story way back when that made people believe they knew what caused earthquakes.  I'll bet it included giving natural forces human emotions.  Here is my crack at it:

There once was a tectonic plate
Searching the world for his true soul mate
Travels 'round causing quakes
But, none found, his heart aches.
Let's just be glad it won't procreate.

Spring Breakdowns

Ok, so I am about to flip out if I don't get a vacation soon.  I am tired of my house, of my bed, of this town, of this weather.  I could really use some beach time if we're getting specific.  Or maybe just some time out of town, anywhere.  Anywhere I say!!

Then I discovered that my spring break is coming up.  Usually spring break is about as interesting to me as the final episode of The Bachelor, that is it goes uncelebrated and mostly unnoticed except for everyone talking about it.  Once I posted on my facebook that I was looking forward to summer break and a friend commented that she wished she had summer break and I had to remind her that when you work and go to school my summer break was her regular schedule [icy glare.]

But this spring break is different, I'm not working so I could really go somewhere.  Now I just need to find a rich benefactor to pay for it.  [Cue Debbie Downer "Wa-waaaaah" noise.]

There once was a future attorney
Who imagined a relaxing journey;
Twas a lovely vacation 
To a beachy destination.
As they carried her off in a gurney.

Wanted: New Creative Types, Short Applicants Only

We are nearing the end of the month again and I am having trouble deciding what kind of poetry to use next month.  As always, I am very open to suggestions.  For Pete's sake, please don't suggest anything longer than five or six lines I'm a student not a professional blogger (or plogger.)  While I would love to write a fourteen line sonnet every day but I am pretty sure that would kill me.  Quickly.

And feel free to be creative.

There once was a girl who wrote verse
But its daily nature was her curse.
She would constantly gripe
About choosing a new type
Hoping each month didn't make it worse.

Jas-ersize

Today is my friend Jas's birthday.  Aside from his as-of-yet unrealized promise to guest write on this blog he is a pretty decent guy.  We have been friends since eleventh grade when I challenged him with a movie quote which he immediately identified.  We have had our ups (Mardi Gras birthday celebrations) and our downs (when he monopolized my boyfriend with guy time) but as with most of our group from high school we are still good friends. 

If I'm being serious, it has mostly been a lot of good times.  So, you want to be my friend forever, feel free to take a crack at the quote if you want: "Get down and give me...infinity!"  [Not you Jas!  You're already in.]

There once was a fellow named Jas
Who quoted movies with great pizazz.
He'll ace any test
Because he's obsessed.
Wonder 'bout what kind of life he has?

Happy Birthday to Me!!!!

I am incredibly excited to take the day off for the first time since writing this blog!  I say it's allowed since I write two limericks a few days ago and it's my birthday.

But I won't leave you with nothing to read, instead I am going to leave you with some works by a few other people.  One of the joys of being a world class (read: the world's only) plogger is that you receive some real gems for your b-day.  Here are a few of them:

This is from my friend Tad who does an excellent of incorporating some private jokes including the time he accidentally poured an entire beer down my dress (he was hugging me and didn't consider that the sudden tilting of our bodies would equal the tilting of his beverage), the time a mutual acquaintance tried to convince us a head would with gravel in it could be remedied by Listerine, and the fact that he liked to get the dog all riled up right before bedtime when she was a puppy.

There was a gal named Alisa Scher,

To eat bacon she would not dare,

Although she calls her dog “the monster”

And dog play sessions may sometimes be a disaster;

There is no other canine she’d want to sponsor,

Heck, Zoe looks like Yoda the Jedi Master.*

Someday she may crash your party,

and make a big ole mess;

To retaliate hardy,

simply pour beer down her dress;

When you fall and she gives your wounds a clean,

Stop whining you pansy, its only Listerine!!

Although this poem may keep the laughter at bay,

I certainly hope you have a Happy Birthday.

Second is this little ditty from my cousin Stef who is a creative writing genius.  Though we have an ongoing debate over who should end up with actor Ian Somerhalder. (Honestly she can have him, I'm more of a Stefan gal than a Damon person.)

Alisa, Alisa I love you so much,

But Ian is mine so don't you dare touch!!!

Even though it's your birthday that's usually full of wishes come true,

If you try and swoop in on my man, I will SUE YOU.

And last but not least, a very cute (though non-birthday related) ditty from Adina in response to my limerick about her.

There once was a girl named Alisa
Whose blog was quite a crowd pleaser
Especially this one time
She immortalized me in rhyme
And in thanks, I drop to my knees, sir!

Ah how wonderful it is to be adored!  Happy Birthday indeed.

* And how cute is The Monster as Zoda (Zoe + Yoda)?

Crabby Girlfriend

Isn't it weird how crabs walk any direction except forward?

How do they not trip more often?  I have to look at every step when I'm walking on stairs* to avoid Humpty Dumpty style injuries, but somehow those little creepers can walk in all crazy directions without so much as a glance by their periscope eyes.  I find this multi-directional meandering makes them seem untrustworthy.  "Ah haha!" you laugh at their funny walk as you relax in your beach chair.  Then an hour later you find claw holes in all of your beer cans and your wallet is gone.

There once was a crab named Dwight
Whose gal complained during a fight
"You're just not straightforward!"
And pouting, headed shoreward
Marching straight ahead to the right.

* I'm not exaggerating, I have a serious stair walking problem.  Sometimes my brain forgets what directions to give the old legs around the fifth stair.  One of my biggest nightmares is continually falling down on an up escalator until someone hits the emergency stop button.

You Have Friends? Well I'm Two Epps Ahead of You

No, it's not a typo, I meant Epps.

Yesterday was my friend Epps's birthday.  Not only have he and I reached a point of solidarity in being a fellow February child and also in being the calming forces for his wife (who happens to be one of my favorite people on this earth.)  Frankly she needs us for balance.  See how I insinuate myself into other people's lives?  So slick!  I had an incredible time at their wedding which I blogged about here back in September.

Anyway back to Epps, it was his birthday this weekend.  In the past, he, his wife, and I have had more good times together than I can count.   I would tell you about some of them but I have no way of ascertaining if you are old enough to hear these things.  It's the internet, after all.

[This blog entry is rated G and approved for all audiences.]

But suffice it to say Epps is a great guy, the kind of person I can be friends with individually regardless of his marriage-to-my-friend status.  But just a heads up, you are going to want to keep him away from any single dogs.  Man do they LOVE his leg!

There once was a fellow from Eatonton 
(A place that likes teas if you sweeten 'em.)
When he drinks whiskey
He gets pretty frisky
If you're serving taquitos he's eatin' 'em.

[Note: I talked to the birthday boy later and through the conversation learned that his wife made him do work around the house on his birthday, so rewrote another limerick that may be more appropriate.  I mean his birthday was on a Saturday, that only happens every eight years or so!  Also, it is really difficult to rhyme Eatonton.]

There once was a husband named Chris
'Bout the good ole days he'd reminisce.
Til a shout from his spouse
"Get to work on the house!"
And he did, or else no good night kiss.

The Fellow from Dallas

This one is dirty, so put away your bible, send your kids into the other room, and lay the picture of your grandparents face down for a second.  I think this is more or less how limericks are supposed to go though, so don't blame it on me.  Blame it on the limerick culture.

I was reading some limericks on line though, and I think the saying-nice-things-about-people style is not really in the spirit of the craft.  So here goes.

There once was a fellow from Dallas
Whose wife cursed his sexual prowess
One night he climbed astride 'er
And made her a bull rider:
He'd tattooed a longhorn on his phallus.

What, You Again?

Ok honestly, this daily limerick-ing is killing me.   It is quite difficult.  Well, not really, but I have found other ways to entertain myself online (playing games) and so I have been, we will say, less-diligent about posting.  Occasionally people will ask when I am going to post something.  Actually just one person reads this blog now so he is the only one who asks and he does it nicely.

But honestly, I am playing thing online like Bejewled and the very cool and retro game of frogger that was once the subject and theme of a Seinfeld episode.

There once was a slacking blogger
Who'd rather play online frogger.
She'll write her damn poems
Then after she'll show 'em
In postings, but try not to dog her.