Well Here's a Change...

I promised you changes and I guess the first one was silence!  That is a change for anyone who knows me, I am not usually silent about anything.  At any time.  Tongue biting is not my MO.

I have decided that September's poems will be a take on a child's poetry form: Alphabet poems.  So the first line will start with any particular letter, and sequential lines will follow the alphabet.  Not too challenging, I know, but hopefully fun.

All blogged out for a while
But I'm rebuilding my literary guile.

Citizens of the internet, used to my rants
Demanded my return with spirited chants:

"Enlighten us about the world!" as
Flags with my face were widely unfurled.

Grateful merchants making tons of cash
Hocking wares with my face printed on recycled trash.*

My face is on here, but that part isn't showing yet.

Ok actually four out of five dentists didn't give a rat's bikini bottom where I was, but I girl can dream, can't she?

* I am soooooo green.  Thank that sustainable bamboo floors and Priuses...Prii...hybrid cars!

We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Blogging For This Announcement

Look people, I have some announcements to make.  First of all, I am no longer trying to blog daily.  It was causing some problems (namely that I would have to finish last week's blog entry before I could post the next four that are finished...also stress, lots of stress) and was making me post some crap just so I'd have something to post.

But all of you literary dung beetles don't fret, I will still be posting a lot (and therefore a lot of crap) so I'll try and maintain the status quo with an unnoticeable step down in production.  Also if you remember the point of this blog was to write frequently to polish my writing skills.  I'm not sure that my writing is exactly coated in turtle wax at this point, but blogging is a lot cheaper than than therapy so PJ is still productive for me.

Just thought I'd let you know.

It is time for some
Existential blog changes
Stay posted for more...

ASR Productions - Vanity Card #1

I desperately want to be outwardly annoyed with Chuck Lorre's vanity cards.  For those of you who don't watch television obsessively like I do, at the end of all TV shows by Chuck Lorre Productions, Chuck Lorre writes a note that flashes on the screen for less than a second.  If you want to read it you have to force your tivo do fast forward, go back, go slow, go back acrobatics until you get to that exact third of a second.  To see some samples you can go here, or you can just skip them totally after my ringing endorsement.

The whole thing is ridiculous.  So ridiculous, it could be called ridic.*  I find his ravings to be self-important and sometimes boring and occasionally stupid in a brow-furrowing, should-I-waste-the-time-to-read-that-again-so-I'll-understand kind of way. 

But it occurs to me that this is a perfect description of this blog.  So I guess that means I have to keep my mouth shut.

If it is called a vanity card
I had in mind it wouldn't be hard
To understand that it's vacuous and vain
And abstain from doing it again.

* I really like the "word" ridic because it is, in itself, a bit ridiculous.  But sometimes something is so inane that you really have to hit others over the head with the ridiculousness of it.  And so was born ridic.

To Melcher or Not To Melcher?

Have you checked out That is Priceless yet?  Cause I already mentioned it once or seven times and I don't feel you have been diligently checking back for the good stuff. No one can bring art history to the current day like Steve Melcher.  So if you hate culture and laughing then by all means go back to checking your pitiful portfolio or deleting those emails from classmates.com or whatever it is you do on your computer to take up time.

Just know that while you do that boring crap, the little paperclip helper from MS office (pictured at left in a happier time) is rusting out of boredom and, frankly, it's your fault.



Reimagining art with a trendy twist.
Seeing Matthew McConaughey in William Holman Hunt
And calling out "Count Kleinmueller" when no one else could.  Or would.

A perfect blog for those with an appreciation for the finer things.
Wholly highbrow humor, if it ever existed.

Adios To Limericks!

Ok, honestly I am so finished with limericks.  I think I got a few good ones in there but it is extremely difficult to write a good one, in the correct meter with rhymes that makes sense and is moderately funny.  So I need something easy for next month, which I still have not decided on yet.  Please, submit ideas and don't make me do all of the research work.  Click the "submit ideas" above, not to actually submit ideas but to see the criteria and then click comment to submit ideas.  That made no sense, DO YOU NOT SEE HOW FRIED MY BRAIN IS?

On another note, I am thinking about putting a small box with links to Poetic Jabberwocky's best posts ever conceived, delivered, and then slapped on the back until they cried.  I'm thinking maybe one per month-ish so please vote for any post or posts you think should be included in this list.  If you suggest links from another blog then, well, message received.

For those of you few readers who do have an entry you like (particularly those who have been reading since the background color was baby's poop brown - ah the memories!) please suggest it.  I'll be in charge of polling the mice but no freakin way I'm asking that possum.  He seems like more of a nudie magazine reader anyway.

Since I'm doing a lot of housekeeping in this post, I wanted to let you know in advance that beginning on April 1st this blog will be moving to it's rightful place at www.poeticjabberwocky.blogspot.com and that is no April Fools joke.  This is because the new address properly reflects the name of the blog but the current address is poetryjabberwocky it is a subtle difference but I want to get this changed locked in before they start referencing my cutting edge political commentary on Fox News.  I think we can all (mostly) agree that those viewers will NOT be able to understand the difference.  I will be sure to remind you googlplex* times between now and then but I just wanted to get it out there.

[Reminder: blog address changing in April.  One reminder down! Sound of pencil crossing something off To Do list.]

A girl who wrote a daily limerick
Whose rhymes and syllables didn't quite fit
It's not as though she made money
If they were extra humorous
At month's end she thought, "Thank God that's it."

* Did you know googolplex is NOT where google headquarters is (that is Googleplex) but instead it is a ginormous number written either of these ways:

If that number was not first introduced in a competitive nerd discussion then my hair ain't sparkling auburn-y brown.  Ex: "Cylon Model Number Eight was a trillion times hotter than Number Six."  "No way, Number Six was a googolplex times hotter!"**

** Also, Nerd number two was totally right.  Number Six was a real vixen.

What, You Again?

Ok honestly, this daily limerick-ing is killing me.   It is quite difficult.  Well, not really, but I have found other ways to entertain myself online (playing games) and so I have been, we will say, less-diligent about posting.  Occasionally people will ask when I am going to post something.  Actually just one person reads this blog now so he is the only one who asks and he does it nicely.

But honestly, I am playing thing online like Bejewled and the very cool and retro game of frogger that was once the subject and theme of a Seinfeld episode.

There once was a slacking blogger
Who'd rather play online frogger.
She'll write her damn poems
Then after she'll show 'em
In postings, but try not to dog her.

The Quatrain's Caboose

Today's word is penchant, a noun meaning inclination, decided taste, or a strong liking.

I have a strong penchant to avoid certain kinds of poetry on this site.  Namely, the hard poetry.  I love haiku and will certainly revisit it in the future.  During the haiku month I learned how to control cadence and syllables.  I liked quatrain because I improved my rhyming skills.  Clerihew kept it funny and acrostics and cinquains kept me restricted to a specific setup.  So for next month's poetry I am going to take on the impossible and combine all of these "skills" for a serious challenge.  Stay tuned!

My penchant is for haiku
Or possibly a quatrain or two
But with poetry more complex
My penchant is to just say "next!"

Kiss and Make Up

Word of the day is quotidian (adjective): Occurring or returning daily.  Also, ordinary or commonplace.

I am on my way now to buy a big fat bouquet of flowers for dictionary.com today.  After yesterday's word (flibbertigibbet...not kidding) we had a big shouting match, things were said, crocodile tears were shed, doors were slammed, and eventually parties were relegated to sleeping on the couch.  But today dictionary.com has come back with its tail between its legs and given me something good to work with, something excellent in fact.  So I apologize for all of the awful things I said in anger. 

Ah, quotidian.  Now that's a word.  It really let's me discuss the struggle between writing something for every day, even when I am not inspired, and keeping it from being too ordinary or common.  Sometimes I fail miserably and even I am bored by my posts, but that is part of the exercise.  Feel free to comment on which posts you find a little "vanilla" and which you like best.  (Shout out to commenters/commentators? - thanks so much!)*

Now, I have some apologizing to do.

Quotidian blog, both a discipline and a bane.
Producing prose each day hoping it's not too inane.
Typos and self-importance is kind of a disgrace
But nothing's quite as bad as being commonplace.

* A special shout out to whomever commented in the past few days about my blog getting better and better.  Thanks to you the world seem to shine like I've had too much wine and the stars make me drool just like pasta fazool.  So in other words an official Dean Martin shout out to you, reader.