Mollie's Birthday Poem

And the poem about my other sister, Mollie, just for fun.

Mollie was a youngest child
Which gave her license to go totally wild.
All your clothes and things were shared
And if you objected, she rarely cared.
When she took ownership of your possession
It would sometimes escalate to aggression
You could take your gripe to the parents
But all adults were Mollie adherents.
With her cute face and long blond hair,
Your argument didn't have a prayer.

So you'd let your anger grow colder
And just wait until Mollie got older.

Now that day has finally come!
What an adult Mollie has become
Now I'd loan her anything I'm able to
(Though for safety I put my name in the label, too.)

Happy birthday Molls! You make a good grown up.

Love, your favorite sister
(you know the one.)

Robert

My sister Mollie's husband Robert is also a hoot.  Sadly, his car died today.  This is particularly onerous because his songwriting career has not yet taken off.  It will one day though, mark my word.  You will see all the best dirty country singers belting out tunes written by Robert B.  I hope they also choose to call him Ro-bear as I do, cause that makes the crude lyrics funnier.

He sings a great song about how he met his girlfriend (mostly fictional) but my favorite is about the girlfriend with one arm (fictional).  She hugged him the best she could, if I remember correctly.

There once was a guy named Ro-bear.
Who pulled song lyrics out of thin air.
Sang 'bout how he charmed
A girl who'd been dis-armed
Strumming right through his wife's steely glare.

Mollie

Since I am doing the family thing, I thought I'd put together a little something about my sister Mollie.  She is the youngest (and acts like it).  Sadly, she is the funniest of the family (jealousy!) but she doesn't get out of the house too much so I have managed to mostly keep that under wraps.

Both of my sisters and I take an annual trip somewhere together and Mollie plays an important part in that trip.  She treks around Europe and Asia (OK, the Asian side of Istanbul) in her Texas Tech shirts asking everyone directions in English.  This is so annoying the first day but as time goes on you really just need to put down your back pack and it grows infinitely more tolerable. Thank goodness someone will ask directions for you and allow you to show disapproval of her English by making mildly disgusted looks while standing behind her.  She usually doesn't even get angry.

Then again, you have to deal with her most sinister side.  If you ever come across a modern-day evil mastermind, he or she was probably an apprentice to my sister Mollie.  One year she bought herself a t-shirt that said "Mom's Favorite" and held on to it for four months.  Four months this plan lie in wait!  She kept the shirt that long so that she could casually throw it on as pajamas in front of me and pretend that our mom had bought it for her and that she assumed all three sisters received one.  She just casually said "Oh I feel so bad about not wearing this since mom gave them to us, I'm glad I'm getting a chance to wear it now."  You may be thinking, I guess that is smart of her...but evil genius?  Come on!  Well I tell you, friend, she waited until the sixth night of the trip, as though it was her last clean sleep shirt.  She sat on that gig for months and then was totally fine holding it for another week.  Evil!

Well Molls has finally booked a honeymoon (she and her husband were married in July.)  They are going to Singapore and Bali.  I am so jealous, but not as much of Mollie as I am of her husband Robert who will get to witness Mollie's attempted communication skills in a whole new part of the world.  I hope he takes video.

There once was a traveler named Mollie
Who will never be fluent in Bengali
Spends her time overseas
Yelling "C-A-N Y-O-U H-E-L-P M-E?"s
Next she's taking her Tech shirts to Bali.

Mollie

My sister is hilarious.  Funnier than I am, and I say that begrudgingly and with a huge eye roll because of all things I like to be, funny is up there.  At the top.  So when I say she is funnier than I am, take that for the huge compliment that it is.

Luckily for me, she doesn't go out much so there is still hope that those unexposed will still think I am the funniest.

Mollie
Mostly skipping out
On social events.
Loves to talk about her vices
Like they're all past tense.
If she doesn't crack you up then you have no
Effing sense.