Uncle Fred

Several days ago was my Uncle Fred's birthday.  Just a note about my Uncle Fred, he is just plain lovely.  If everyone ever agreed on the correct way to spell certain laughs (Ah ha ha! or Ahaha!, the debate continues) then those words could finally be included in the dictionary, and several of them would say See Fred Time.

I had lunch with him last week and, as usual, he was a pleasure to be around.  One of my favorite things about him is when someone helps him out, a clerk at the courthouse or a waiter at a restaurant he is generous enough to tell them "Good job.  Go ahead, take the rest of the day off."  Any old shmuck can give his employees the day off but Uncle Fred gives other people's employees the day off.  Now that is a good man.

Here is a very happy birthday poem for Uncle Fred:

Fred
Treats his bike like the Proud Mary, whose big wheels seldom stopped.
Always there to say a nice word, like a fortune cookie.
Eternally as happy as a trucker who just won three grand in the lottery.
And as kind as the neighbor's dog who decides to poop in the yard next door.
Supporting you for every hour of the day you are awake like a Playtex Cross Your Heart bra.
Always seeing the good side of things, like Oprah's front windshield.
And as deeply loved as government holidays.

Happy Birthday Dad!

Today is my dad's birthday.  Below is the poem we all wrote for his birthday dinner invitation, reproduced with permission (assumed permission, that is.)  Hope you enjoy!

Also a birthday shout out to "Eduardo" one of my favorite cousins-in-law.

Way back in 1945, the world was still war-torn
And maybe unprepared for little Marc to be born

Marc paid great attention to girls & cars that were cool
But he didn't fret about studying or doing well in school

Even so, at SMU he really went quite far
First undergrad, then law school & easily passed the bar

Marc started his own practice and finally married Ann
They had three lovely children as fast as parents can

He knew so much law that he was a borderline dork
So he moved on to shooting and revamping Elm Fork

Marc's a businessman and trial lawyer extraordinaire
Who now goes to court with slightly thinner hair

He is a husband and father with the utmost devotion
Everything he does is "Marc"ed with great emotion

Join us to eat and drink as Marc turns 65
He wants us to celebrate - he's happy to be alive!

Talk About A Belated Birthday

A big event I missed in March that I am trying to pathetically make up for now is my dear friend Trbo's bday.  Just under a month ago, Trbo turned...well...a year or so younger than I just did but suffice it to say it was a big one.  I'm not really sure what kind of poem this is, but much like the lady it describes, it marches to the beat of its own drum.

Trbo, this one goes out to you.  Happy very belated birthday.

Simply waking up to sleek, slatted hardwood
Or serene chessies sleeping right where they last serenely stood.
These are not simple luxuries Sarah's recently understood.

She travels the world saving sovereign states and their systems of defense
Or maybe she works as a spy and the other job is purely pretense.
But that wouldn't explain her need for order which some would say is intense.

Maybe her cerebellum struggles to structure what otherwise is sloppy
Since she prefers your PJ pants long and stories that aren't too choppy.
And if you've never read Emily Post's Manners, I'm sure she'll let you borrow a copy.

So instead of cards or chocolates or a cheesy bouquet
I give her the image of the most sought-after girl in the saloon, tipping her beret.
Saying "I hope you're able to swallow a spirit or two on your rescheduled birthday!"

Since I Fear Losing Reader(s)

Here is a little poem I did for my sister Jen's bday.  Just to whet your poetic appetite for April.*

A girl named Jen turned 29
When she woke up that morning everything felt fine
But by the end of the day she had an ache and a pain
She thought to herself "Will I ever be young and cute again?"
But her older sister came to her aid
With Alleve and makeup and said "Don't be afraid!
You can keep that young feeling through yoga and laughter."
And so the sisters lived happily ever after.

* Blog moving in April to www.poeticjabberwocky.blogspot.com. I think "followers" will be moved with the blog so there is some incentive to create a log in and become a follower.

Happy Birthday to Me!!!!

I am incredibly excited to take the day off for the first time since writing this blog!  I say it's allowed since I write two limericks a few days ago and it's my birthday.

But I won't leave you with nothing to read, instead I am going to leave you with some works by a few other people.  One of the joys of being a world class (read: the world's only) plogger is that you receive some real gems for your b-day.  Here are a few of them:

This is from my friend Tad who does an excellent of incorporating some private jokes including the time he accidentally poured an entire beer down my dress (he was hugging me and didn't consider that the sudden tilting of our bodies would equal the tilting of his beverage), the time a mutual acquaintance tried to convince us a head would with gravel in it could be remedied by Listerine, and the fact that he liked to get the dog all riled up right before bedtime when she was a puppy.

There was a gal named Alisa Scher,

To eat bacon she would not dare,

Although she calls her dog “the monster”

And dog play sessions may sometimes be a disaster;

There is no other canine she’d want to sponsor,

Heck, Zoe looks like Yoda the Jedi Master.*

Someday she may crash your party,

and make a big ole mess;

To retaliate hardy,

simply pour beer down her dress;

When you fall and she gives your wounds a clean,

Stop whining you pansy, its only Listerine!!

Although this poem may keep the laughter at bay,

I certainly hope you have a Happy Birthday.

Second is this little ditty from my cousin Stef who is a creative writing genius.  Though we have an ongoing debate over who should end up with actor Ian Somerhalder. (Honestly she can have him, I'm more of a Stefan gal than a Damon person.)

Alisa, Alisa I love you so much,

But Ian is mine so don't you dare touch!!!

Even though it's your birthday that's usually full of wishes come true,

If you try and swoop in on my man, I will SUE YOU.

And last but not least, a very cute (though non-birthday related) ditty from Adina in response to my limerick about her.

There once was a girl named Alisa
Whose blog was quite a crowd pleaser
Especially this one time
She immortalized me in rhyme
And in thanks, I drop to my knees, sir!

Ah how wonderful it is to be adored!  Happy Birthday indeed.

* And how cute is The Monster as Zoda (Zoe + Yoda)?

Happy Birthday Mom!

Today is my mom's birthday!  If you don't know my mom, Ann, there is no way I can describe her to you.  Here is just a very general idea: take a moment and think of the nicest person you know.  Got it?  Ok good.  Well, compared to my mom, that person is Meryl Streep from The Devil Wears Prada.

Now recall the best food you have had all year.  A meal that tasted so ridiculously good that you made intimate noises at the table.  Yea, well that food is like what cardboard poops out compared to my mom's cooking.

Now think of the most thoughtful thing someone has ever done for you.  The kind of thing that once it was done, you thought "How did you know?"  Well that gesture was like sneezing in someone's face compared to what my mom does on pretty much a daily basis.

I could go on, but I think you get the point.  She is the best!

I love you Mom. Happy Birthday!!

There once was a lady named Ann
Who was great with a pot and a pan.
She'll do you a favor
Cause she's a life saver
As she leaves you can see her cute can.

Update: Click on this post's comments and see what my dad has to say - so adorable!

Monica Is Getting Old

Today is my friend Monica's birthday. If you don't know her personally, then you should know this, she is one of the world's nicest people. She and my mother tie for kindest people I know, though I believe that may be about to change.  They may have to share that title in a three way tie because there is a baby on the way very soon.

In fact, I imagine this new baby as her apprentice. Even though she is having a boy, I picture him being strongly influenced by having a mom who knows how to TCB!* Monica manages to juggle a bad ass job, friends, taking care of her husband (also a great influence for baby H,) an already large family, being a landlord, and always looking really freakin cute.

So happy birthday Mon! This is your last birthday with just you and B and I can't wait for the new Baby H era to start!!

Monica
Kind. Comforting.
Organizing, accomplishing, enjoying.
Caretaker and role model.
Future mom!
 
* Take Care of Business. What, you don't like Elvis?

Happy Birthday

This is a birthday poem for one of my favorite people, pregnant or otherwise:

Doctors are smart
But nurses are wiser.
As for human beings
You won't find one nicer.

Happy birthday Jess!

Happy Birthday Doc

This post is actually based on a Roses are Red poem I wrote on a friend's Facebook wall on his birthday. He is in the seemingly neverending process of becoming a doctor.

Arteries are red,
Veins are blue.
Bloodletting is old.
And now you are too.

Happy Birthday.

Feel free to totally plagairize that for someone you know.