Free Financial Advice

[Entry for Monday, June 7]

Look, I am not trying to depress the crap out of you but here is how much your investing strategy sucks: you should have invested in forever stamps.

Facts:

In April 2007, you could have bought one share of Google stock instead for about $458 (not including fees or minimum purchases).  That share would be worth $485 today.  That is a rate of return of about 6% (total, I'm not calculating the annualized rate of return for here you folks.  I do have somewhat of a life.).

Heck, you could have purchased one single share of Berkshire Hathaway for $108,000 in April 2007 and on May 18th it would be worth $113,300.  That is a return of a little less than 5% and that is saying something  because I think Warren Buffett is a effing financial genius.

"Oh my dear," you may say in a patronizing tone while adjusting your monocle "I invest solely in real estate."  Yea, well do you know of any of the properties you own give a higher return than those stocks, net of tax, repair, maintenance and administration costs?  I doubt it.  It turns out you are a little more Mr. Peanut and a little less Mr. Monopoly.

Here is where you are really going to start kicking yourself: in April 2007, you could have purchased 100 forever stamps for $37.  Today those stamps would be worth $44.  That is a rate of return of 19%.

So if you really want to beat up on your financial adviser (not that this market hasn't done that enough) you should call and discuss these figures with him or her.  In the meantime I propose this new marketing slogan for forever stamps:

Forever stamps.  
Like the Statute of Liberty's head found on a beach in a foreign monkey world.  As stubborn as Mayan ruins that will never fall.  As solid as the foundation in the buildings you own is not.
Forever.  Stamps.