If You Use Morse Code, You May Be Dash Dot Dot Dot Dash Dash Dot Dot Dot (Nuts)

Why does everyone on television know Morse Code?  Once a month I am watching some show and someone says "Wait, that is Morse Code!"

First, in which subject do children learn Morse Code?  Some public school graduates today can't even speak one language well, much less use any system that will allow them to communicate with submarines.  For military people, I suppose that is totally different and Morse Code may be a class.  But if it is, maybe we can transfer some of that military classroom funding into buying socks for soldiers.  Or armor.  Just a few ideas I had.

Second, how would someone remember Morse Code?  If you don't use it regularly there is no way you are going to remember that stuff, no matter how elementary you may have found it at one point.  I don't think I'm being cynical, if you remembered grade school geography better then there would be no premise for Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?

Last, and most importantly, how on earth can you recognize Morse Code?  I will give you a pass if you are on a boat and you are recognizing SOS (dot dot dot, dash dash dash, dot dot dot).  But under any other circumstance I don't believe anyone recognizes these random noises as communication.  Even if you did recognize it, no one would listen to you.  Why? Because you would have been hearing communication in everything from woodpeckers to wind to foot tappers in the subway to radio static and you are the boy who cries Morse.  And you might live on a bench.  And you may be a little crazy.

To the nerd who knows Morse Code
Your social life is clearly slowed.
Did you serve in the Navy?
Cause if so, you're gravy
Otherwise you should switch from geek mode.