Goodbye to the Cinner!*

And it is time to say goodbye to Cinquain November! I have to say this poem type has been a lot of fun to write, it kind of defies writer's block because you can at least start a poem which makes it easier to proceed.  So thanks again to AVR who suggest this poem type.

Stay tuned to see what poetry type I will be using in December!!

Cinquains.
Simple.  Descriptive.
Building, counting, publishing.
Quatrain plus some more.
Poetic Pentagon.

*That is my nickname for the cinquain.  We had such a nice run together.

Monica Is Getting Old

Today is my friend Monica's birthday. If you don't know her personally, then you should know this, she is one of the world's nicest people. She and my mother tie for kindest people I know, though I believe that may be about to change.  They may have to share that title in a three way tie because there is a baby on the way very soon.

In fact, I imagine this new baby as her apprentice. Even though she is having a boy, I picture him being strongly influenced by having a mom who knows how to TCB!* Monica manages to juggle a bad ass job, friends, taking care of her husband (also a great influence for baby H,) an already large family, being a landlord, and always looking really freakin cute.

So happy birthday Mon! This is your last birthday with just you and B and I can't wait for the new Baby H era to start!!

Monica
Kind. Comforting.
Organizing, accomplishing, enjoying.
Caretaker and role model.
Future mom!
 
* Take Care of Business. What, you don't like Elvis?

(Tweedle)Dumb Cinematic Vision

Ok, I'm as excited as the next Lewis Carroll-themed blogger about the new Alice in Wonderland movie coming out next year. In fact I have been keeping fairly up to date with everything they have released about the movie.  I am a Tim Burton fan and I can't wait to see what he does with this piece of work!

Random fact: Tweedledee and Tweedledum are the ones that recite the Walrus and the Carpenter poem which I am so fond of that it headlines this blog.

But I do have one objection to a recent release: WTF was he thinking with Tweedledee and Tweedledum?  If the twins from the shining grew up, married the twins from Nothing But Trouble, and drank while they were pregnant, and fed the babies only raw dough, the result would be Tim Burton's idea of Tweedledee and Tweedledum.

Creepy!!!

Tweedle Dee.
Rotund.  Mischievous.
Dancing, singing, confusing. 
Spewing balderdash and gibberish. 
Tweedle Dum.

Half-Black Friday

I do not know why this day came to be known as Black Friday and between you, me, and the deep blue sea I don't really care enough to research it.  Tryptophan-induced honesty!  But I am on a serious budget reduction so I shall do no shopping on this day, even though a brand new discount store opened recently and is apparently giving away fabulous clothing.

[Sigh and wistful look towards the NorthPark area.]

So in the partial spirit of the day, this blog is having a Half-Black Friday.  So this is a shout out to Obama, who I think is doing a very good job.  I am not sure what magic wand his critics thought he was going to wave to fix our issues, but that is not how it works.  Here is reality-ville, I think he is doing an excellent job at staying on top of what needs to be done, not pandering to the media, and considering an incredible number of variables to come to a solution.  We need elbow grease folks, not pixie dust!

Obama
Organized.  Determined.
Planning, executing, persisting.
Miracles...in baby steps.
Rescuer.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

[Soapbox speech alert!]

This Thanksgiving I am most thankful for not being homeless.  That is true both in that I have a place to live but I also have a home.

Even if I fell on hard times and had to leave my home, I have a family and friends and an infrastructure to fall back on.  Even so, some people who are now homeless also had some or all of these "safeties" at one point in their lives.

I know some of my friends, good people, who are reticent to support efforts to end homelessness.  I think this is because sometimes it is hard to admit that our hard work, mutual love for others, and good choices is not absolute protection from being in very bad life situations.  Everyone wants to believe that they would not take the road that leads to that kind of life and that homeless people did something wrong and therefore are reaping what they have sown. 

When I recognize this rationalization in others, it is easy for me to forgive them for what may seem like a lack of compassion.  It is easier for us to think of homeless people as drunks, drug addicts, or mentally unhealthy.  To think of "the homeless" instead of homeless people, people who have nowhere to brush their teeth or get their mail or store their things or just sit down for a little while.

But they are people.  Please check out this blog entry from my old boss's blog about a guy named Gary Reid.  People are homeless for a variety of reasons, not all of which people like me (educated, with a big family, relatively well off) are immune to experiencing.  And that is scary.

On this Thanksgiving you may not be spending time thinking about homeless people, but I hope you at least take a look around and give thanks for what you do have whether big or small.  Happy Turkey Day everyone!

Homeless
Unwanted.  Unprotected.
Begging, walking, freezing.
Owning only what's carried.
Helpless

Confidential Letter

Dear Retailers,

Look, I didn't want to get anyone in trouble about this so let's just keep it between you and me.  I understand that the economy sucks and people are in a generally blah mood which makes them feel less shop-y.  I feel for you, I really do.  But did you need to start Christmas so early?  At the beginning of November?

I really think you may have jumped the gun on this one.  I mean you skipped Thanksgiving all together.  I am telling you this now though it is too late to change anything because frankly we are friends and I thought you should know people were talking.  Ever since college when my roommate Annie showed me the joys of shopping I have really felt that you and I had something special going on.  I could not just forget what we have and go on without saying anything.

Now you know that your desperation is showing a bit, I hope we can move past this and you can pull it together for Black Friday.

Sincerely,

You know who

Holidays
Celebration.  Remembrance.
Sharing, eating, decorating
Attached to specific months.
Festival

CSI: Miami

Ok stop snickering.  Yea, I watch CSI Miami.  I would be more embarrassed but odds are that one of the three people who read this blog watch it too.  It is fabulously ridiculous and I embrace it.  Here are my top 5 favorite things about this show.

5. Colorful cameras. Whatever video equipment they use to film episodes makes it look like everyone is getting a good tan just by standing there. The colors are exaggerated, overly pastel, and barely this side of outrageous. Just like real Miami.

4.Ugly people. There aren't any at all, except for your occasional hired mercenary killer but even he has unusually nice skin.

3.Swift Justice. Most of the cases are solved in about 24 hours. The only other place were justice is doled out so swiftly is in Judge Judy's court. It is incredible that DNA results, interviews, trace tests, background checks, etc etc can be finished in one day. My favorite part is when they bring in someone, interview them, do some tests, and bring that same person back. Did they not JUST leave seventeen minutes ago on your schedule? Cause according to the camera work it is still just after lunch on a sunny day.

2.Fake Science. Oh, you can tell by someone's sweat his name, address, what kind of car he drives, and preferred pastel color shirt.  That is incredible.  How annoying does this crap make real crime scene investigators who have an eleven month backup to determine if that is human or animal blood at the triple homicide scene?  I don't know for a fact but I've got my money on pretty peeved.

1. Lieutenant.  Horatio. Caine.  I used to be so annoyed that the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders coreographed hair flips into their routine (that's not dancing!) but after a while of watching it you kind of had to respect how they used the flip and swoop.  Horatio Caine is the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader of glasses-acting.  I have never seen an actor so successfully substitute a simple prop for acted emotions. Exhibit A.

Ok, I've run an optical test on you based on the newest technology that says rapid eye movement in the fifteenth quadrant indicates boredom so I will wrap this up now.  [How great would it be create fake science to support everything you say!?!]

CSI: Miami
Technical.  Exact.
Measuring, whispering, story-telling.
Beautiful people, beautiful clothes
Science-fiction

No News is Not Always Good News

So it's not only me who thinks today is a slow news day, a "top story" in the New York Times was that the NFL is changing they way the respond to concussions. 

[Mental picture of 1930s newspaper reporter in fedora and vest at at typewriter slowly shaking head and wiping away a tear.]

News.
Extra! Extra!
Probing, breaking, informing.
Hot off the presses.
Tidbits.

Regime Change

Here is something interesting, recent increased use of the word regime.

I am not sure exactly when it started, sometime in the last five years or so.  I suspect it started with what I would consider the Bush administration's best strength: naming things.  And the administration chose the phrase "regime change" to describe it's goal in Iraq.  Then that was ironic when people called for "regime change" here to get rid of Bush.  I am totally on board up to this point, but then it starts getting hokey.

People use the term regime to mean "time during which something happened."  That is not a Webster sanctioned meaning.  For example "Kathryn never went out to clubs back then, but that was during the boyfriend regime."  That is not really what regime means.  It has to do with government.  At furtrest stretch it means a system of something not exactly governmental.  It does not refer to the period of time during which someone cut your hair or your stint in a fraternity.

Glad we got a chance to clear that up.

Furthermore, I think this new (mis)use of the word is particularly ironic, because before regime referred to something stable and dependable, now it is used to refer to some kind of change.  Oh English language, I am so sorry for what we do to you.

Regime
Government.  Monarchy.
Dictating, Leading, Overpowering.
The next new thing.
Anti-establishment.

Nugget

Soooo there may be an addition to the household. The little nugget pictured above is currently staying with me and may be here for good.

He doesn't like sleeping, puts everything in his mouth, annoys the monster* but somehow he is still adorable.

Puppy
Deer-like. Needy.
Whining, licking, staring.
Climbing into my lap.
Heart- melter.
*My original monster, that is.

Twilight

Remember when twilight was just a time of the day? I wish I had a dollar for every Facebook comment today about a full grown adult who stayed up until 3am last night to go see the new twilight movie.

These kind of people even have a word for themselves: "twihards" (Twilight + Die Hard [fans] = twihards). My sister is a twihard so I have to be careful what I say here, but let me just say this toned down comment: how ridiculous!

I did read the Twilight books, but I have to say I am not so engrossed in the story line that I am spending a day at work after four hours sleep. That stuff is for tweenagers.

But seriously, as I have said on this blog before that I am not a fan of twitter and growing tired of the Twilight saga. Next I am giving up eating Twizlers or hanging out with anyone I know who is a twin. Or a twit.

Dusk
Glow. Calm.
Ebbing, darkening, cooling.
Winding down the day
Twilight

Tim Gunn

So the person of the week on this blog is Tim Gunn. In case you don't know, Tim Gunn is a major part of the show Project Runway: he counsels the would-be designers on their creations and he is always right. My favorite (and everyone's favorite) Tim Gunn saying is "Make it work" which he says when the contestants on Project Runway are either having a breakdown or working with a terrible mess of a garment.

Also this week in Tim Gunn news, he was the guest star on The Biggest Loser because it was makeover week. He just has that special way about him that makes him seem avuncular but cool. He can give criticism but still build you up and feel like he he is in your corner.

That having been said, on tonight's Project Runway season finale, I think he loses his cool and I can't wait to see it!

Tim Gunn.
Elegant. Tasteful.
Critiquing, suggesting, helping.
Always making it work
Mentor

Ian McKellen

There was a three night special programming on AMC called The Prisoner starring Ian McKellen earlier this week.  It was very confusing and if you didn't stick with it past the first installment then you probably wouldn't be able to make sense of it.  I stuck with it because I love that kind of confusing stuff and because I love Ian McKellen.

I had the privilege of seeing him on the live stage in London.  He played Gogo with Patrick Steward as Vlad and it was the singular best acting I have ever seen in my life.  If you read this blog you know that I am an avid TV watcher, I love movies, and you may know I like theater too.  Anyway, I have seen a lot of acting.  More of it than I would like to admit was terrible, most of it was so so, but every now and then there was a really incredible performance.  McKellen was better than all of those.

Aside from his incredible acting talent, I think he is just a cool guy.  If you want to know more, check out his performance in Extras which was effing hilarious (and I may have blogged about this before but it's good enough to blog about twice) or do some research on the work he does for gay rights. Basically I will support anything this guy does. Aaaannnd...scene.

McKellen 
Thespian.  Artist.
Acting, creating, inspiring.
Becoming invisible inside characters.
Chameleon

Indian summer

Ok so our indian summer in Dallas is officially over.  It was so lovely for a while there...breezy, sunny, lovely weather.  I love the idea of an indian summer, you get one last week to say goodbye to warm weather. Just as you are walking forward into fall, you metaphorically pause as you are adjusting your scarf, then look back towards summer and have a brief memory of the season past.  Love it!

Here is something that has not ended: my dog's indian summer.  I am using that phrase because she is getting up there in years, but  lately she has had a surge of energy.  She is jumping around like a puppy and wanting to play all the time.  She drags toys out of her toy bin and tries to get me interested in throwing a ball or pulling a rope.  I see it as a brief look back on to being a puppy before the winter of her lifetime begins, but I hope her indian summer never ends.

Indian summer
Warm. Peppy.
Dazzling, flaring...fading.
Past youth's short burst
Reminder

LOL

Ok, I am worried that people have forgotten what LOL means. It was spawned to indicate over email/text/instant messenger that someone is "laughing out loud" and yet, I think we have moved so far away from that original meaning. So I have decided to put some basic requirements on the use of "LOL," for all of our sake.

First, laughing means actual laughing. Not eye rolling, snickering, or groaning. If you are not actually laughing, do not use "LOL."

Second, are you trying to lessen the blow of something harsh you just said? Don't use LOL. For example "Yea, you were really flirting with her boyfriend last night. LOL." NO! If you are afraid that something is going to sound rude then don't say it.  Adding LOL won't suddenly make it playful and light. For demonstrative purposes only, see below. Though there are many things wrong with this cartoon (which for the record I did not create) but Jesus here does not lessen the blow with his LOL.

Third, if you are making a joking comment and the nature is not clear from what you have written, don't finish it with LOL to make it clear you are joking. Be aware: your joke may not be that funny. See an example below, picture is cute, but the joke - not that funny.

I'm so glad we cleared this up.  Good talk.

Laugh
Guffaw. Giggle.
Bubbling, rolling, tearing.
Tickle your funny bone.
Chuckle

Flu

I am so tired of being sick! It is coming to an end* but not quick enough!

Illness
Warm. Nauseas.
Coughing, aching, resting.
Non-Patsy Cline fever.
Sick

* Not in the dramatic way for God's sake! I meant I am starting to feel better. Sheesh.

Away I Went

Because I am still recovering from being sick with something that was not non-sensationalized by the media, my big outing today was to go over to my sister and future bro-in-law's place to see a movie. A big thanks to them for being undeterred by my possible petri dish status and letting me in their house.

We watched Away We Go which is a really cute movie if you haven't seen it yet. There was one story in particular that made us all discuss how we hope that we can love someone in a way that drives us to think outside the box and constantly be creative about making that person happy. Peaked your interest? Watch the movie!

Maya Rudolph was really excellent. John Krasinski was also good, but he played a more nuanced version of his character from The Office, who I also love. I dedicate this cinquain to him!

Krasinski
Lanky, bushy.
Joking, adoring, scrambling.
Muttering comments to himself.
Goofball

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

I try not to complain about this, but I a freakin sick again. I am so tired of feeling a little under the weather, but this time I really did it. I was can't-get-out-of-bed, exhausted-but-can't-sleep, generally feeling terrible sick. And it's my own fault for not just taking better care of myself when I was feeling a little sick.

And then on top of that, I get little to no sympathy because I don't have the swine flu. I swear, if there is one more way that swine flu can annoy the crap out of me, swine flu will find a way...

Flu
Weak, tired.
Coughing, aching, sleeping.
Plain old flu symptoms.
Unremarkable

Tattoo

Yesterday was my old roommate's birthday. She was an awesome roommate, helped me when I needed help, was very laid back about my boyfriend at the time being around a lot. She was from Florida and so cute and beach-y. There are about a hundred other things I could tell you about her - she was really great.

But you know what some members of my family call her? Tattoo. Because even after she had established herself as one of my good friends, someone spotted a little tattoo on her hip and that is now the one way that at least some people remember her.

I just think this is so interesting because it makes me wonder what my "tattoo" is to some people. Every person I know is complex and complicated with a multi-faceted personality. But all the time people see just one thing about you and that is what they remember.

Sometimes I am a really upstanding citizen and my "tattoo" might be volunteering or smiling at someone as I pass. But then again it might be snapping at my sister in public or cutting off a slow driver. They didn't seem like a big deal at the time, but now it seems like kind of a big deal...

Tattoo
Planned. Inked.
Expressing, regretting, camouflaging.
Judged for past decisions.
Quintessence

If you want to see tattoo choices that are unarguably bad, check out this story.

Falling in (G)love With Temperature

Wow, the weather in the Big D is just fabulous lately. Just a tad bit cool at night and a tad bit warm during the days. Really beautiful.

But like most jerks I have a small gripe with this incredible weather: I have no idea what to do with my thermostat. If I turn on the heat, I am only comfortable while sleeping. If I only leave on the A/C, I freeze at night. If I leave it off all together, I am cold at night and it feels stuffy in the afternoon and evenings.

You see, I don't have a fancy air system like you rich folks. Mine is just a simple piece of machinery looking up at me with mechanical puppy eyes asking what time of year it is.

I won't have to deal with this issue for long, soon it will just be cold. But until then I am constantly switching back and forth on some crazy schedule I have worked out. Happy fall to me!

Temperature
Calefactive. Refrigerative.
Sweating, shivering, resetting.
Red...blue...can't decide.
Climate-ematics

What Came First, the Jerky Chicken or the Egg?

I was discussing with my father how sometimes going to law school can make you into kind of an a-hole. Actually he disagrees but I think sometimes after being trained to pick things apart and question everything can make you the world's most aggravating friend/spouse/sibling/friend to someone who hasn't suffered through 1L classes.

But the real question in my mind is not whether or not law school graduates are argumentative, it is are argumentative people more likely to go to law school. It's a legal chicken-and-the-egg situation.

Either way, maybe don't invite people like me to board game night.

Lawyers
Debating. Challenging.
Exacting, questioning, arguing.
Square pegs, round holes.
Barristers.

Shout Out

I think it is important to give credit where credit is due, so I implement the "shout out" whenever necessary. According to the Urban Dictionary, to give a shout out is to "acknowledge someone with respect." Enough said.

I currently owe two very big shout outs for this blog. First, to AVR who submitted the cinquain poetry idea. It is fun and fairly easy and has therefore started me back blogging more regularly (also my home internet connection is working again so that helps but really, it's about AVR right now.) Anyway, her blog is so freakin awesome and I'm glad she is willing to loan me some awesome for poetic jabberwocky. Shout out to you Deanster!

The second shout out is for my sister Jen who sent out the address to this blog (mostly to promote an entry about her but again - it's about the shout out) and by doing this I believe she helped to reset the record of most people viewing the blog in one day to a whopping 31. In the spirit of of using street vernacular today and of giving thanks to Jen I would like to say...Holla!

If you have someone who you think deserves a shout out, please feel free to post in the comments regardless of how random* it may be. Think of it as a warm up for Thanksgiving.

Shout out
Respect. Recognition.
Acknowledging, approving, appreciating.
Holla at your girls.
Props

* Seriously, randomness is the cornerstone of this blog. It is the Ernie to this blog's Bert. The split stick to its campfire. The milk to its cereal. The eight kids to its Kate Gosselin. I think you get the point so post already.

Oh, Hollywood...

[Warning: A serious nerd alert for what follows.]

Ok so the second Twilight movie is coming out soon which brings to the forefront of my mind a very delicate issue: vampires versus werewolves. It is so obvious that Hollywood is trying to tell us they are equal but I am not susceptible to their left-wing sensationalist media lies. Vampires are clearly better. I just had to get that off my living, breathing chest no matter how controversial it is.

I give a serious tip of the hat to image-makers/fakers though. I know in the new Twilight movie they will make bloodsucker Edward seem like a jerk and canine-secret Jacob seem like the good guy. But seriously, I'm going with bats over wolves in the "real" world any day. Though obviously the best of any choice is the Scott Speedman werewolf/vampire from Underworld (see below.) Ahooooooo!*

Vampires
Nocturnal. Omnipotent.
Sucking, healing, sleeping.
Vanishing into thin air.
Bats

* That was a howl. Just to be clear. It's not as easy to spell as you might think.

Mission Accomplished

I did so little during the day today that I am thinking about putting up a big banner outside my bedroom that says "Mission Accomplished." I think that is a sufficiently ironic way of proving that you have done nothing.

And some of you think Bush didn't do anything for us. That guy's stand up routine was hilarious!

Nothing
Devoid. Empty.
Stalling, procrastinating, staring.
Wasting away the weekend.
Zilch.

The Hangover

It's more than just a hilarious movie with Zach Galifianakis (who incidentally has very funny "between two ferns" skits as a terrible interviewer.*) It is a very real risk I apparently take every time I drink more than one kind of alcohol a night. Not pretty, not pretty at all...

Ugh. Would you mind typing a little softer please?

Hangover
Painful. Nauseous.
Throbbing, aching, groaning.
Reminder of my age.
Consequences

* My favorite between the ferns interview is the one at the link with Jon Hamm. And it's not just because I love Jon Hamm. Favorite question: "Does it make you sick when you look in the mirror to see how handsome you are and to know that people are disfigured? And don't you think you should think that?"

Trial

I had my first trial today, I picked the jury and sat second chair. It was a whole lot harder than I thought it would be and I'm not sure how well I did (the judge had to help me at one point with my questioning) but thanks to the lead prosecutor we won a really difficult case. I'm so impressed to see good people in action - it's the best way to learn.

Litigation
Claims. Denials.
Questioning, listening, judging.
Jury of your peers.
Justice

Witness

As I believe I have mentioned before, I intern at the District Attorney's office. One of my primary duties is to contact people who have witnessed crimes and get their version of the story.

One thing that makes me oddly proud of our legal system is the surprising wealth of people who want to help. For example many of the DUIs reported are from someone calling in to 911. Just a note to anyone who might feel bad doing this, the other ones are usually crashes and sometimes there are injuries or fatalities so you should call every time you see someone on the road who is drunk or falling asleep. You can quite plausibly be saving lives.

But back to the topic at hand, people are shockingly willing to spend time out od their day to talk and it makes the job of "cleaning up the streets" that much easier.

So this one goes out to all the misdemeanor crime witnesses in Dallas County. [Sound of crickets]

Witness
Observant. Conscientious.
Seeing, saying, remembering.
Help us prosecute crimes.
Case-makers.

Urban Tumbleweed

I spent a good part of this day cleaning dog hair out of my house. I am not exaggerating when I tell you the quantity of this hair was enough to cover two or three large-sized canine alopecia sufferers. It was truly repugnant on a level I can't even come to terms with myself.

Now I am no stranger to fuzz balls flying around. When I was a kid I used to produce what I called "fuzzies" which were made from the fuzz of my childhood blanket (go cowboys!) Being a multi-tasker at a young age, I would simultaneously suck my thumb and use my pinky finger to pull dark blue fuzzies off of the blanket. They would then be set free to blow around the house which made everyone but me think we had a roach infestation. I could tell the difference from ten feet away.

I am not making this up. If you don't believe me check out a picture of the threadbare section of the blanket above. (Yea, I still have it. So what?) Anyway even with my lurid past of fuzzie-making I can not take the dog hair anymore.

I am either going to start dust busting my dog directly or I am going to take inspiraton from Chris Rock's new movie Good Hair and figure out a way to make the furballs into a weave.

Furballs
Omnipresent. Disgusting.
Rolling, hiding, surviving.
Won't they go away?
Tumbleweed.

Chambers

So I have this big huge old Chambers brand stove that is the bomb. And by "the bomb" I mean both that it is very hip right now AND that it might explode at any minute. When I light the oven I have to actually LIGHT the oven. With fire. I'm the Prometheus of my kitchen.

Anyway I love it just the same, though it does about as well with temperature as Miami women do with subtle clothing prints. Severe overkill, that's what I am talking about here.

Chambers
Brawny. Sturdy.
Warming, flaming, burning.
Overzealous urge to feed.
Furnace.

November is About Giving Cinquains. And Thanks, You Should Give Thanks Too.

Ok November's poem type is (insert poorly edited pause from a reality TV show showing clips of people looking around the room) Cinquains!

No, single reader, that is not a spice that you put in your egg nog. Nor is it a rugged part of the Italian riviera. It is a five line poem that follows these rules:

The first line is one word, a noun, the subject of the poem. The second line is two words that describe the noun. The third line is just three words, all verbs. The fourth line is four words, either feelings or a phrase about the poem's subject. And the fifth line is just one word again, another noun describing the subject of the poem.

If done correctly* this could be quite funny and challenging in a good way. Although I also thought that about name poems so take that comment with a grain of salt. Here is my first cinquain ever, or at least since I have known how to ride a bike.

Blog
Tedious. Demanding.
Agonizing, rhyming, stretching.
Sharing all my thoughts.
Catharsis.

* No promises to that.